I need a break....Now

I knew this week would be a challenging one and I wasn't let down at all.  We usually take this week at work to clean and get ready to hit the ground running for the new year.  This year, we still had experiments that needed to be finished or just done, and we were all very stressed.  We knew together we could get it all completed, but it was still a race to the finish line, and my experiment didn't really work 100 percent per se.  Sigh.  Eleven days off and it will be cherished as it is surely needed.  I'm so ready for this break and also to spend some time with friends, both new and old.  I'm also ready for a slowdown.  NO medications to take, no practices to get to, no rush in the morning to down my coffee and read my emails and get myself and Andrew ready.  Just slow and peaceful and easy.  My soul needs this.  

First, we celebrated our 20th year of marriage!  We usually try to get to a fancy restaurant or something fun, but with me being sick and our schedules being crazy, it just didn't happen like we wanted.  We decided that some good beer and some Hy-Vee deli take out was just fine this year and much cheaper.  I love Manhattan Brewing company at this time of year as they decorate, and it feels so festive and fun.  

Christmas was great as usual with our little family.  We hit the jackpot on what Andrew wanted with the bass guitar Tony bought at the last minute being the best.  I was really worried at first because I thought since he had picked out the majority of his Christmas ahead of time that he wouldn't be very excited.  He was very specific in what Lego sets he wanted this year and picked them out ahead of time.   He opened every present like he had no clue what was coming and made my momma heart happy, even showing excitement for clothing and underwear.  Is he already done putting together all the Legos as I type this on Friday?  Yes.  Him and his dad are still battling on Atari, and we will be getting more games to play for sure.  I feel like that was his biggest surprise and also the hardest one to master since playing with a joystick if foreign to this generation.  

Tony and I decided to spend our money on our trip instead of each other, but I did get him some dog dad pants, and he got me some new KSU lavender.  

I need another sweatshirt like I need a hole in my head, but it is what it is.  It's soft and purple and I love it.  

Most of the day was spent playing games, watching football, or eating.  Tony prepared a prime rib for dinner with mashed potatoes and fresh green beans, and it was amazing!!!!

On to work outs.  It was an abnormally warm winter week. Most love that except the weirdo that is me.  I LOVE winter running meaning cold temperatures and wind chills. I don't love ice, but an occasional snow is welcomed and nice.  This hot and muggy winter mess is not my favorite at all.  Plus, now we have mud and I wasn't ready for mud season yet.  The good news is, if I am rested, I am more ready to work out.  Heck one day I even got 2 work outs done in a day.  Three humid moist runs, and three work outs including arms, abs, and lower body was accomplished this week.  I call it a win! 

I shouldn't have to run the fan in the shop in December but here we are.  

We ended the week with a trip to Sugar Creek and Stranger things marathon in our pjs.  I don't sit very often so this is special for me!  Sitting still is not my specialty, and neither is resting. I am trying to get better about it, but I am work in progress.  Sunday saw a HUGE drop in temps from the balmy 60s and 70s to feels like 10 as of typing this.  

Have a great week y'all!  We are heading to Tulsa this coming week to cheer on all of our favorite racers.  I can't wait!

Twas the week before Christmas

Not again.   We seem to have all caught the mess that Andrew had.  While we never had a fever or caught it when we were feverish to test, we have had a massive head cold, all of us.  SO much snot and coughing and tissues and lack of sleep.  Plus, I had some cortisol dumpage around 3 am several mornings that woke me up and kept me up.  Sigh.  Let's get to it shall we?

Got three runs in this week despite this dang bug we all have and two lifting work outs.  Surprisingly I can lift even when I feel like pure dog shit.  Since I have my own home gym, I can work out without infecting others.  I also finally got this little pad for my bar this week and It's making a world of difference for several of my lifts.  Now I can do hip thrusters and bridges with my barbell and not have the pain I've had in the past with that weight sitting on my c-section scar.  

I had a rough week at work being sick and having to work so much and so intense.  Some days I think I am too old for this and I need to find something a little slower paced, but also overtime is nice and is not always offered at my level of experience.   Usually, I would be salaried and not hourly, but because our company wanted people to be able to take unpaid leave if needed, they put us all hourly which means OT is now in play.    I try to keep my eyes on the prize even when I am tired and run down.  I also try and remember that I have been in this game way longer than anyone I am currently working in due to my age.  I've been in science in some capacity since the summer of my junior year in high school.  I've dealt with lots of different types of bosses and supervisors over the years, so I do have more perspective into what makes people tick.  No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has a totally different personality.  That is what makes our lab interesting and successful because it takes all types to make R and D work.  We are a very diverse group from someone in their 60s to someone in their 20s.  To someone who is hugely creative but distractable and not into details, to those who are anal about every single detail yet not creative at all (me:) we have so many wonderful co workers.   While sometimes we do clash, overall, we make it work and get through some tough stuff together.  I just hope the next week we can make it through everything that was set forth.  

Lastly, Andrew had his final week of school and FINALLY got straight A's!  This has been his goal for a while, and he was always falling slightly short with one high B every semester.  I am so happy for him and his hard work finally paying off!  

And one more thing :) I think either today or tomorrow is our 20th anniversary.  I will always love this beautiful dress and that amazing and crazy night that we got married.  It was simple, we were surrounded by friends, and we had so much fun!

Have a great week y'all!  If this week doesn't kill me, it's going to make me stronger for sure!  

NCKL and NOOOOOO!!!!

Andrew has missed two tournaments this year, I've seen such good things in the one he did make it to and all the matches he did.  Wrestling is finally clicking for him and I LOVE it.  Him and his partner both have really grown in their technique and that is all I want, growth and try.  Unfortunately, Andrew started feeling bad on Monday of this week.  A little congestion and a little dry hacky cough, just like before.  We loaded him up with meds and prayed he could get through the week fever free and make his goal of varsity at NCKL.  Tuesday night was his big band and choir concert, and he was for sure struggling but still fever free.  By Wednesday morning, he had a 104-degree fever and major snot issues. URGH.  Not again.  We kept him home obviously, but by some grace of God, his fever broke mid-morning, and he was fever free the rest of the day.  Thought about sending him Thursday so he could at least wrestle off for his position, but even fever free he felt like dog ass and there was NO way I was sending him feeling that badly.  Coach graciously allowed him to come weigh in with a mask on and I am grateful that he did.  That meant though no varsity for him, no wrestle off, no chance at ending on the Varsity team for the big dance, which was his goal all year.  We've battled weight and insecurity the entire season, but we at least made it through and ended the year on his goal weight, and I am totally fine with hitting that goal if we missed the others.  Heck, we all lost weight together adjusting our diets, and that is never a bad thing.  

I wrote this on the book of faces but it's true here too so I'm just going to copy and paste LOL! 

Welcome to Michelle's musings. Grab a cup of coffee and sit for a spell. Here goes. Last year in middle school wrestling, we saw Andrew suddenly get the balls to shoot every single match, something we've been asking for and wanting for years in kid's club. The problem with this? He would literally walk up, shake hands, hear the whistle, and shoot. He got pinned many times because of ill placed or ill-timed shots, but it was a start, right? Then we wrestled JV for the NCKL tournament and suddenly he won 2 of his matches, got second place, and we thought hmmm, maybe the switch is finally flipping in his brain with wrestling.

This season we saw less shooting but more moves per se, AND he started analyzing his matches, talking about what he was doing wrong or right and talking about wrestle offs for position and this fire for being on varsity. Of course, we battled weight all season as he started out 175 and he wanted to wrestle 165. We talked to parents, coaches, and searched the internet to how to get him down safely, but it took most of the season to get him where he wanted to be. Yesterday I was so excited to see what he could do at 165 JV. We were finally in the same gym as varsity, and I had a front and center seat to watch all the matches. We watched his teammates secure back-to-back championships. We watched several kids who just started win matches and we cheered our butts off for every single kid. We watched a team that had wrestlers at literally every weight class take the overall championship, but we were damn proud of our kids for battling to win runner up even with that disadvantage.

Andrew had a good day, not a great day but a good day. He got kicked hard in the face in warm up to start out the day and has a nice battle scar from it. Every match had something I was proud of. He had 1-minute matches since he was JV and he went 1:39, 1:58, and the full three in his last match. If you know Andrew or have coached him, you know this is a HUGE step for him. Yes, two of the matches ended in pins, but his last one went all three with his teammate and he never got pinned no matter how hard Brian tried.

As we say goodbye to middle school sports, I am excited to see what he decides to do in high school. I pray wrestling is on his mind as it is one of the best sports I have ever witnessed for kids. The resiliency, the grit, the chess match that they have to play at warp speed makes them amazing athletes. I love it. I love sitting in the gym all day with moms cheering and celebrating the wins and analyzing the good things when there are losses. I love the team aspect with the duals, and I love the tournaments where we can win as a team and as individuals. I love watching them cheer each other on mat side. I love celebrating success with his practice partner and knowing that Andrew played a part in getting his partner ready to get 2nd place this year at varsity! I love the mom group that battles for their kids and steps up and makes sure that they get the love and respect they deserve. I hope we get to do some kid's club this year but he's going to take a little break and enjoy the rest for a few days.

If you've made it to the end, thanks for supporting Andrew this year! Thanks for the videos, the pictures, the hugs, and the encouragement. He's finally getting it, and I can't wait to see what happens next! I didn't get a ton of photos or videos as I was just soaking up the moment. Congrats Raider Wrestlers! Go forward and do big things in high school!!!!!

I feel this so strongly.  I never knew what wrestling was before we moved to Kansas and now, I just pray he decides to go forward with wrestling in high school.  We've seen such a transformation this year and I am here for it and want to see more!  It's in there waiting and someday that athletic self will rise. 

 

Okay enough about my kiddo :) I got three runs in this week and two work outs, so I hit my self-imposed target.  I prayed all week to not catch this latest bug, and it worked (knocking on wood right now).  I did almost hit the ground one run due to my dang flexible ankles turning.  You know how when you bite the inside of your cheek and then turn around and do it again over and over in the same spot?  Well, that is me with my dang ankles.  This time I didn't go all the way down, but I seriously thought I had broken my ankle.  Thank God I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she talked me through the pain.  I was pretty sore the rest of the week and am still sore as I type this.  My hamstring is the most pissed off and my foot feels like a giant bruise.  I was super surprised that in my first run back, my foot behaved, but I was sore all over like I had been in a car wreck.  You know me, I don't do anything halfway and am just glad I can still move and run and lift even if I am sore.  

To end, we finally got our trees up and I am fully in the spirit!  All but one of the presents I have ordered have made it here which is a miracle as a couple got delayed.  Even if the one doesn't make it, I have a picture I can wrap up of the present, and it's just for Tony anyway.  Tony still wants to get Andrew something just from him and he's thinking it may be a bass guitar.  The trees weren't exactly what we wanted as we got two tall skinny trees last time that fit perfectly in front of our windows, but these will do.  They are kind of scraggly, but I am glad we could give them a good home.  

One more week of school and two more of work and then a break!  I can't wait!  Have a great week y'all!

On the mat

First, I am going to talk some girl talk.  If that offends you, and you don't want to read it, skip down a paragraph.  You have been officially warned.  After several months of no period, it's back and it's horrible.  I've had several days of cramps and bleeding with no end in sight.  I had really thought maybe I was done, but I hear this is part of the process.  0 out of 5 stars.  Do not recommend.  At least I get to use my new period panties that I got on black Friday sales right???

Okay off of women's stuff.  We had a big week of wrestling.  Andrew made weight and then lost his wrestle off, so he had to wrestle 165 junior varsity and only got one match in this week's dual.  He looked a little intimidated in the video that was sent to me, but I had another mom send me several photos and he had a very determined face on the entire time.  

I had to miss yet again due to my experiment which I will talk about later.  I hate that I have missed so many football and wrestling games/matches, but my job pays really well, and overtime is essential right now as I pay for Christmas presents and our trip to Tulsa.  

We also had a tournament this weekend at Junction City.  For some reason, the coaches moved the varsity 165 kid up to 180 and had Andrew wrestling Varsity.  I first thought that maybe the kid didn't make weight, but he did so who knows.  I'm not one to complain about his coaches as he loves them, but I'm just not impressed with them this year.  It was a four-mat tournament, and they had to multiple times be told what mat to go to by us in the stands, and when and then half the time when they were at the right mat, they were looking at their phones or just staring at the ground.  Sigh.  I just hope Andrew sticks around for high school wrestling.  The new coach they just hired is really, really good and I hope Andrew will stay and get coached by him.  I don't see a ton of value in Andrew standing on the side lines in football, but I do see a ton of value of him wrestling JV in high school.  

Andrew had two matches with his first match being really, really good even if I missed the whole first period.  They had announced that all varsity matches would be on mat one and two, so I wasn't even paying attention to mat 3 until I looked up and saw him already wrestling.  He worked his ass off, almost got a pin, but got pinned in the third period.  I'll take it.  He tried so hard and never gave up and that's all I've ever asked for.  He even executed a Peterson roll, a move he'd been working on in practice.  We have one more tournament and I'm excited for him to wrestle off for his position and possibly finish the season strong.

While I can't give specifics of my job, I can say that even though my project is not front and center for the company right now, it's nevertheless very important and I am hugely stressed about it.  My boss can't give her full attention to it for many reasons out of her control, and that's very frustrating being the person performing the experiment.  I've been working on this experiment for months and I am going to be very upset if they scrap everything I have done. It's been lots of super long days and weekends and I don't want it to be for nothing.  Yes, I still get paid for what I've done, but it's still very frustrating especially when I've been voicing my concerns to deaf ears.  I've had lots of 3 am wake up anxiety attacks.  We just had yet another very key individual leave in our company due to not being heard and I'm scared.  I don't like not being heard and that's what has been happening.  Sigh.  I wanted to retire in this job, and I hope that I can, but the words that the RD is the first department to go really scares me.  Everyone else is working on the main project and I feel like I'm on an island doing my own thing.  Enough whining and enough panic attacks.

Only two runs and two work outs, but overall, I got enough done this week with all that was going on. My lifting was quality and I'm seeing huge gains even with knocking back to two lifting days a week.  I'll take it and I have one happy Ollie to get out and run.  She also celebrated her 2nd birthday this week and I can't believe she's two already.  

Have a great week y'all!  Two and a half more weeks till a nice long break!  We've got this!