A week of woe

Oh boy what a week. It's like when I think things can't get any more difficult, life goes, here's a heaping pile of dog crap.  I will preface and say it can always get worse right, and these are just small speedbumps?  I did get four workouts in last week including 2 sets of leg work outs, 1 upper body, and one core.  It feels good to be back on track!

Andrew and Tony started out the week sick with low grade fevers and tummy troubles.  Tony was better in a couple of days and seem to not have many tummy issues.  Andrew's tummy turned to molten lava and pardon my imagery as he said he was peeing out of his butt.  Gross right?  He ended up missing three days of school, two tests, and I am not sure he will ever catch up.  He also missed getting to play football and had to be a water boy, which I was totally fine with since he was just then getting back to school.

I need to get this on paper so it's out of my head as I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  That was the point of this blog years and years ago actually, to just have some word vomit so that I could sleep at night.  This may be jumbled and all over the place but here it is, raw and just for my 5 readers LOL.  Deep breath.  Okay.  When you become a parent, you have this timeline of when and what should happen with your kid.  I blame the baby books, blogs, and Facebook groups but that's a topic for another time.  I still remember getting so mad at Andrew.  For example, all of the "other" kids were riding their bikes without training wheels.  We weren't.  Come on Andrew, take off your training wheels, you are ready.  Nope mom, not ready.  Every time we would go out, I would beg let's take them off you are ready.  Nope.  Not ready.  Then one day Andrew came to me and said, I'm ready to take the wheels off.  And we did, and he rode his bike from sunup to sundown without training wheels.  No help needed.  He was ready.  When we started racing, same thing. PASS THE CARS.  Nope, not ready. Come on, you have a super-fast car, you can do it.  Nope, not ready.  We would see glimpses.  We had to change our thinking, our tone, our words and our expectations.  We started praising little things, making small goals that were attainable for him.  And we saw it, under the surface.  It was there.  Waiting for when he was ready.  Again, we watched kids his age or younger becoming super stars, winning every race, or going to national races and kicking butt.  We wanted that too, but he wasn't ready.  Then slowly, surely, he started passing.  He started caring about winning.  That passion slowly came out of him and made him want to win, wanted to take a chance and to pass.  Now we are here with dirt racing.  We have begged and pleaded for years, just try a dirt car, just get in one.  Nope, not ready.  We want to race with our friends who have left QM to go to micros.  Nope, not ready.  Sigh.  Two weeks ago, he got in his first dirt car, made his first laps, used the clutch and gears for the first time.  AND HE LOVED IT.  And we did round two this week and I had tears.  I type all of this to say, if your kid is like my kid, doesn't' follow the "timeline" that either you yourself put out there or what society puts out there, don't sweat it.  Set small attainable goals and make it about the journey and not the outcome.  And hey, maybe they won't get there, and they will find something else.  BUT enjoy the journey wherever it takes you and whomever it takes you to and with.  

Again, as stated above, we headed to the dirt track to turn some laps in one of our sponsored driver's cars.  He again went above and beyond and got Andrew strapped in for some laps.  We honestly can't thank Bo enough for letting Andrew do this.  It has really given Andrew big confidence and has sparked a love for dirt cars that we had hoped for, for honestly years.  WE still have a long way to go and a lot of money to figure out as we transition from quarter midgets to one dirt car (now accepting any financial support in the way of sponsorship :) and buy our QM stuff people!

I will end on this.  if you know me, truly know me, you know that I give 110 percent every day all day to my job, my family, and my kid's hobbies.  I have worked tirelessly to make sure that our local club has been my number one priority, and I've let my mental health suffer at times for the sake of the club.  We had some problems last week and the blame was put solely on me and my tower.  It hurts because what happened effected a child in my own child's class and I've been accused of cheating.  I know this too shall pass but it stings to be yelled at, to be essentially blamed, and to be thrown under the bus.  This is NOT the way I wanted to end our final year in quarter midgets and I'm just sick to my stomach over all of this.  This year has been so tough with multiple people committing to positions and then quitting and then me not even being on the board but having to pick up the slack, so nothing changes for these kids.  They had their reasons for quitting and part of me admires the ability to walk away.  The other part is super sad for not getting that year off I needed to just enjoy this last hurrah.  Oh well, one more month and we are truly done.  I will still be around to help the new board and to cheer on these kids and help as I have time to help.  I'm super excited about the new board coming on and the potential for several amazing people to step up and become president.   My true hope is that people can move past this whole incident and truly see that it's about the kids and the safety of the kids and that all volunteers included want nothing more than for the kids to be safe and not get hurt.  

Sorry for the book this week!  I've got a lot on my mind, and I needed to get it out! See y'all next week!

Race Weekend....#5001

Let's just start with the good stuff, shall we?  RACING!  We are winding down our marathon of a season and we had a great weekend of racing.  A third in Heavy Honda, a first in points in Unrestricted Animal, and a fourth in a big class in Heavy 160 with some awesome out of town drivers coming down.   Still the heavy weight champion of the track LOL!

Andrew didn't win the feature as Dash was the winner, but Andrew won in points thanks to Dash not doing the heat race.  It's weird and I wish our club would re-think how we do points as it's old and antiquated and no tracks do that system anymore.  

Keep your fingers crossed because we may have some interest in the cars.  We plan on keeping one to see if we can race next year, but all else must go so we can get a new car.  I'm starting to get super emotional about leaving this sport behind, but also in a way super relived.  If you've followed along on my journey at all, you know the ups and downs.  How this has totally wrecked (a pun) my emotional wellbeing at times.  I mean heck, I do credit this sport with getting back into therapy to work on my people pleasing and my lack of boundaries.  This week I was accused of things and called things I have never been called before.  Sigh.  All I can say is that I have showed up for 7 straight years FOR THE KIDS and I can lay my head on my pillow every night knowing that I did the right thing.  That I have had moments where I literally broke down in my car before wiping my face and heading into that tower so that the KIDS get to race.  I have also puked in garbage cans I was so stressed and yes, people tell me all the time that I should just walk away but I didn't.  AND I won't till our time at the club is done.  

I love these assholes.  Even when they make my life tough.  I can't wait to see what they do continuing this club on when we are gone.  

Okay enough of that.  We had football, we had working out and even running this week.  Overall, it was a good week and we will build on that and move forward.  Onward!

 

Kicking up the dirt

I have no words for this week.  It's been crazy and emotional and with the government currently tracking down what people are saying, I am choosing to keep my mouth shut about current events.  Here are some pictures of how our week went.

I got four work outs this week and summer returned so no running.  

Andrew had to write an essay on why he wanted to be a flag bearer and he was chosen along with many of his friends.  Loved driving by and honking and loved hearing so many kids yell out my name to honk.  

Another football game, away, and no playing time.  Sigh.  The coach told them if they wanted playing time, they had to outwork the starters, which I totally agree with BUT if my kid gets 0 reps even in practice, how is that supposed to happen?????  Counting down the games till we are done and out of this sport for good.  Breaks my heart but it's not meant to be and that's okay.  I just have to move on and keep my momma heart out of it.  While it kills me to not go to the away games, I truly think it's the best thing for me.  He doesn't like seeing me upset and I don't like getting upset at coaches that are volunteering their time.  It's best-case scenario for me and him.   

While we may not like playing football, we love watching football.  The cats lost yet again and again my heart is broken for the team this year.  If we lose to KU, that will be the final straw.  I hate the NIL and what it has done to college football.  Our 8th grade team lost their game, and our high school team lost their game and the Vols lost a heartbreaker as well.  As I write this, the Chiefs haven't played yet but I'm holding out hope that they can pull out a win against the Eagles (spoiler alert as I haven't posted this, they lost).

We are also a racing family.  Who knew that would be our thing someday?  I certainly NEVER thought this would be his "thing" but yet here we are, 7 years into racing quarter midgets.  His first season came up on my timeline today and I just had to repost.  It's been quite the journey and even with the high highs and the low lows, it's totally been worth it.  

As we ponder what's next since we want to keep going, several ideas have come to mind.  Most of our TKQMA friends had moved on to dirt and to racing micros.  We also have a subset of friends who moved to stock cars.  We want to try both and we got the chance to try a micro finally.  Andrew is a tricky one.  He can't be pushed into something unless it's his idea and for years we've been trying to get him to try dirt, and he wouldn't.  When it's his idea though, then he's all in.  I had no clue that dirt cars had these things called containment seats that were specifically for your driver so you can't just hop into anyone's car if you don't fit their seat.  Turns out Andrew is bigger than any of our friend's kids, so he had to get into an adult's car (and barley fit) to try one out.

Also, there is a clutch and gearing, something he's never had to deal with.  In five minutes he got the clutch down.  Whew.  

He got to go out and do five laps and again post all the races for five laps, and he went a bit faster.  We have a long way to go but excited to see where this leads us and excited to be back with our original track family.  To be continued.

Have a great week y'all!

Why yes I would like to go to a race

Thus begins the madness of football, racing, and life.  Get ready!  This seriously was the longest short week ever.  

My running partner is moving and while she is just moving down the street, I am going to miss beers on this porch.  She has the cutest house ever for sale, but it's too small for our needs having only one bathroom.  If we could build on, it might work, but we are in the thick of racing right now so any extra money we have is going to that.  I'm super sad even though she will be a short drive away.  We've had many good, bad, and tough conversations on that porch.  I'm going to miss it for sure!

I also got my second dose of Testosterone pellets.  I pray that this time I get more benefit.  We are adding in some supplements that should help.  If I don't see big results this time, I think I will discontinue down this path or explore other options.  The lab work says it's working, but I say it's not.  Other than a boost of energy, which was nice, I got 0 benefits that were totally noticeable.  For the price, I may need to figure out a different path. I have heard from so many women that this option works over this option over that option.   I know we can look at other routes that may be cheaper and may be covered by insurance.  To be continued.

I only got three work outs down but guess what I RAN!  The weather is starting to turn, and I am SO excited.  Ollie has been waiting not so patiently for the entire summer.  

Then this happened!!!!!  While we never want to win due to a car in front of us breaking, at the same time, that is racing.  He finally got a W this year and he couldn't stop smiling.   Two seconds and a third which we needed to be a second.  Sigh.  Oh well, I'll take it.  He SHOULD finish in the top three in all classes this year.  Fingers crossed we can end on a big strong note.  His 160 and his animal car are dialed in, and he is driving his butt off.  

It's weird to go back to day racing after so many night races.  

Last but not least, football.  I have so much I want to say but I feel like a broken record so I will leave it at this.  If you are up 46-0 at half time, there is NO REASON why any starters should still be in.  If you don't want to sub them all in, sub in a few at a time.  Give the kids that never get playing time some confidence and some reps.  Same story every year.  I will be glad when we put football in the rear-view mirror.  Big red got some playing time in the 4th quarter, and he was pumped at the win so I will keep my mouth shut in front of him, but my heart breaks every year he plays, for kids like him who aren't taken seriously and never get in.  I know for a fact that there were kids that either didn't get any playing time period or maybe one play.  At least Andrew got the entire fourth quarter. I have decided this year due to low PTO and due to the fact that he may or may not even get playing time, Tony will be the one traveling to see the out-of-town games and I will hit all the home games.  It's best for me and Andrew.

Have a great week y'all!  

Football season starts in 3.2.1......

Can I start with football first? I know it's a little out of order, but I need to address it first.  Andrew has worked so hard all summer at football install/conditioning.  For whatever reason, now that everyone is back (not everyone does summer ball) he is really struggling and having confidence issues.  I believe that part of the issue is that they had him on defense all summer learning plays and now they have identified a need for him on offense.  Also, he is third string offense behind two equally great kids, but that isn't helping his confidence to tap in and take them out, so he can jump in and practice the position.  If you have been with me for a while, you know that my kiddo isn't god's gift to athletics and that he has to work extra hard to even get close to where other more athletically gifted kids are at this age.  Also, he is almost a year younger than the majority of his teammates, and it shows in their bodies and muscle mass.  Even though he has gone through a major growth spurt and is pretty much as big as the biggest kids on the team, he still seems very soft and chunky like a younger kiddo and not like an almost high school kid that works out all of the time.  While the hormones have started, they aren't 100 percent flowing yet.  

For those reasons I don't think the coaches take him very seriously.  Heck, I get it, next year is high school ball and you have to have your shit together to play, both mentally and physically. He's so close but just not there and we are at the point where we can't help him anymore other than helping him with learning plays. I had already given him an out this year to not play and just focus on racing, but he signed himself up voluntarily, so he really wants it now.  I had secretly hoped this year would be different but knew in the back of my mind that even with new coaches, it probably wouldn't be.  I hate when I am right.  He's had several bad practices and several days that he claims he only got a few minutes of on field time in a two-hour practice.  Since they have practice during my working hours, I can't confirm or deny.  

Anyway, we had our first inter squad scrimmage and he got a ton of playing time on both sides of the ball, go figure.  I hope this trend continues but I'm honestly not holding my breath. I am sure if I go back a year and read this very post last year, I will have probably said the exact same things.  I hope next year in high school he picks marching band, but I am sure the football coaches are going to get their hooks in him.  If he keeps growing like he is, he will be a big kid and he will fit on the line nicely.  Sigh.  

Shifting gears, we said goodbye to the grammy and the grandma.  I wish we could keep them for longer.  It's never enough time and we never get enough pictures.  Mom got to see Andrew kick butt and race and I'm so glad as she's been there through the years when he wouldn't pass or be aggressive.  Kind of cool to see him go full circle.   I could have kept her another week or more.  

I somehow had 4 work outs last week, two upper bodies, one lower body, and a core work out.  I'm starting to increase my kettle bell weight, and I am almost ready for some exercises to move up to the 20 lb. dumbbells.  I love seeing progress even if it's super slow.  Some exercise I really struggled with at the beginning of this journey are finally becoming much easier.  I love it.  AND BONUS!  It's getting cooler so we can start running again.  It's going to suck and I'm not sure how I am going to balance both, but we are going to try.  

Okay back to football.  Since it's hard to get to games with Saturday day races starting next week, we had to get tickets and do it up right in the tailgating department.  While it threated rain all day and would sprinkle at times, we had a ton of fun and sat in a new to us spot this year.  We even splurged and got a parking spot and invited some friends over to our tiny spot for food and beer.  

We and I say we because it was mostly Cole, cooked bacon cheeseburgers on our Blackstone grill.  They turned out amazing! 

We sat across from where we usually get tickets and it was an adventure.  I think at one point I was sitting on Tony's leg we were so crammed in.  I did like that at half time the band played TO us as Andrew could get the full effect of the brass section.  Plus, him and Cole could go down and get autographs and pictures of Willie.  

It was a nail biter of a game, and I surely thought we were going to lose, but the cats pulled it out at the last minute somehow.  This is going to be a long year I fear for the cats.  I think we are going to one more game this year and it's an in-conference game so hopefully they get their shit together.   

Best part of the game was the drone show.  

So glad we got to see it and the rain didn't affect it.  It truly was a magical night even though the game was kind of crap.  The field show and atmosphere was rocking, even when we were behind.  I loved having our own tailgate and our bonus kid did great cooking and preparing the food.  

I hope we don't sit in those seats again because that was a little too close and personal.  When we sat on the other side, we actually had room to spread out.  

We couldn't leave Manhattan without a celebration in Aggieville.  Cole had never been, so we had to take him to the Varsity food truck for grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches and hot fresh donuts.  

Of course, while we were waiting in line it started raining, but we could smell the goodness and didn't want to leave.  We only got slightly drenched.  I've never gone to the food truck at night since Varsity didn't exist when I was in college, but I bet if it wasn't raining, that place would be a happening spot.  

Okay this is getting super long but it was a super fun weekend, and I am tired but pleased.   I love this time of year with racing winding down and football winding up.  Fall seriously is my favorite time of year and I can't wait till my two favorite holidays Christmas and Thanksgiving are here!

Have a great week y'all!!!!