It just is

I've been pretty proud of myself this week.  I had to make some choices to protect my mental health and I did so swiftly and with great results.  I think for me, the biggest problem with fully quitting my job at Coleman Electric (my hubby's business if you are reading your very first blog post) was loss of control.  I felt like if I stayed in the mix fully, I could control outcomes and reduce my amount of stress in the long run.  What I was doing was running myself into the ground, hating my hubby for putting me in a bad position and working me so hard (it was all self imposed), and creating more anxiety that was affecting my new job.  Everyone was telling me to walk away, but I just couldn't do it.  Then a switch just flipped.  Nothing bad happened, I just knew that in the long run I couldn't continue on this path and I off loaded major duties that I was still doing straight to my hubby. While it does put more on his plate in the long run, he has a better understanding of what I do and can now fully train someone with my help.  While we had all been dragging our feet on this transition, I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and a lot of the resentment I had been feeling has left.  It does mean longer hours for my hubby and more book work/office work, but again, when he feels ready, he can now train the next person without major help from me.   I am still doing bill pay and invoice management for our suppliers and hope that at some point, I can off load this as well to our new book keeper, if we find one.  I can do that once a week and not have to work every single day for both jobs so I don't mind it as much.  While I have been enjoying two paychecks, my brain needed this.  Our marriage needed this.  This is his company and his responsibility and I needed to let that go.  My name is no where on anything and while I want it to succeed for our community and our family, I had to let it go.  He is ultimately the captain of the ship and I needed to give full control solely to him.  He wanted to have his own business and so now he shall go back to doing most of the things he started doing before I joined the team.  

 

This boy hasn't stopped smiling since last weekend.  To see how happy he is at his successes at the track makes me so freaking happy. 

I'll take a last place finish any day that he is working hard and racing hard.  He did both all day on Sunday and that makes me so very happy.  

Running was okay this week.  Got a 3 miler that was too hot to do with the dogs, an 8 miler with Stella ella, and a 3 miler with Stella.  Next week looks like solid rain :(

We ended the week doing all the things I love.  Playing games at the brewery and drinking amazing beer.

Spending time together laughing and talking instead of staring at screens.  

Ice cream.  

And yard work with the entire family and the reading books/chilling out the rest of the day.  I'm reading Kara's book right now and I seriously can't put it down.  After listening to a podcast with Des and Kara, I had to buy all three books including Lauren's book. I also need to get Deena K's book as well.  I love reading about these amazing women athletes and their crazy journeys.    

Have a great week y'all!  I am looking forward to more experiments at work, hopefully some time at track club coaching, and another round of racing!

Yeah, so about that

Since I am writing this on Monday/Tuesda morning and I literally have 3 minutes before I need to get up, here are some of my favorite things from the week.

This kid.  Keeps me on my toes but I just love him.  Why does he look like a big kid now more and more?

All the glasses at work.  Slowly getting us to bifocals and not wanting to give up my Goodrs.  

Good ole Kanas wind.  Nothing like almost getting blown off of your feet due to 40 mph wind gusts. 

A chance to breath, have a good beer, and grill.  

Still injured but going to the rehab vet this week. Hoping for answers.  

3 runs this week.  Two 3s and a 6.  All I could muster working 2 jobs and being exhausted.  Two runs in 80 degree heat and one in feels like 34.  Go figure.  

The Tulip Festival in the wind and rain.  Still a great time.  Bring on the tasting tent!

And ending on the ending of the weekend.  To say I was dreading racing season is an understatement.  With all of the stress in my life right now, I don't need adults acting like idiots drama.  Before the day even came there was drama and I was so over it.  We have had little to no time to practice and even when we had free time, we wanted to spend it together doing fun things, not fussing at each other at the track.  We had no expectations of anything from the cars or my kiddo.  Usually by this time we have the cars dialed in and several practices under our belt to test and tune.  Tony didn't even fire up the cars till the night before at 7 pm....and one wouldn't start and the other would but had no brakes.  Sigh.  Tony stayed up all night working on the cars and was also sick.  Another deep sigh.  We showed up at the track with one car working and one with no brakes.  

We were very lucky in that we had a team of dads waiting to work on the car and get Andrew on the track.  There are good people in this world still that truly just want these kids to race and have fun.  Andrew had an amazing day finishing 2nd in both of his Sr Animal classes of only 3 cars, but still running his car hard and having great patterns.  He ran 2nd for quite a bit in Sr Honda in the heat and was headed for first when he made a pass on a restart (which you can't do) and caused himself to go back 2 spaces to finish 5th.  He could have passed the car in front of him but for whatever reason refused to.  Oh well, I like what I am seeing and am actually excited about racing now!

Have a great week y'all!

 

Sentence per picture

 Sentence per picture time because I am exhausted and it's 8 pm on a Sunday night.  

Post track celebration picture.  Andrew tried high jump and didn't love it but tried.  

Scientist selfie for an article that a group is working on writing about me.  I can't wait to see it!

Big beautiful thunderstorms all around us but nothing here.  Love watching them build and fire off.  

Another week of running with Stella ella.  Got a three, a three, and a 7.  Boom is still limping but not as much or as bad.  It's starting to get hot here so I am hoping we can get him right soon as Stella does not do well in heat.  

Last year for Easter egg hunting in the park.  Andrew has started hard core questioning the Easter bunny but then he retracts when we try and talk about it.  I told him we would always have him an Easter basket every year whether he believes it or not.  

Since this year's hunt yielded some bad candy and some tiny easter erasers, we headed to A and H farms to hunt more.  While the prize still wasn't the most awesome in his mind (I loved it, I ate it :), we still had a ton of fun playing with birds, baby animals, and adult beverages.  Manhattan truly has a gem hidden away.

Stella and I got a short long run and it was HOT thanks to me sleeping in.  She handled it way better than I thought she would.  I had Tony ready to come and pick her up if needed.  

Ended the weekend at the Rolling Hill's zoo. I  was surprised it was open on a holiday.  It was almost completely empty and the perfect temp out, so the animals were active and we had time to just sit and watch the chimps and the lions at their new exhibit.

This was the last free weekend we will have for a bit as racing starts back up next weekend.  We had so much fun and are sort of rested and ready!  Have we practiced, NO.  Have we tested and tuned, NO.  But here is to a good year anyway LOL!

Have a great weekend y'all!

Normal, Nah

It's been a long week of working hard, getting better from this viral mess, and trying to figure out a new normal.  End of the month is always my busiest time as bills have to be paid, invoices have to be sorted for pay apps to contractors, and things like sales tax and benefits have to be calculated.  I don't mind the book work as long as I have some free time to go with it, but this week had zero free time.  We are still struggling as to what to do.  Tony can't do it all, his brother could possible do some, but then when would I train him, and there are several ladies that wouldn't mind working for us, but then we would have a stranger in our bank account and in our affairs and that scares me.  

I did get several runs in this week, just not on the days I had hoped.  Stella and I got a group run on Tuesday, a long run on Saturday, and a short recovery run on Sunday.  Stella is doing amazingly well, but we are going to keep mileage pretty low for now due to my work schedule and me wanting her with me since we have NO clue how long Boom is going to be out.  

Boom went in for sedated x rays and exam and they found nothing. This was my biggest fear.  While I didn't want to shell out a ton of money for surgery, not knowing what we are even dealing with is so tough.  He is on some pain meds and rest for 2 weeks and then we will re evaluate.  I have his chiro coming Monday to go over him and then we have a visit scheduled with a PT vet in KC mid month if we still need it.  I am not loving not having my boy with me and I know if it gets hotter, Stella won't be able to come as the heat really bothers her, so crossing my fingers this is a short lived soft tissue injury. 

After missing both sessions of track club this week, my running partner and I decided that I may not be able to help this year and that is okay.  This is why I love her because she gets it.  We are doing some big important experiments at my new job and I need to focus on work right now.  Trying to rush to get done to get over to the track to coach is too much.  I also need to be able to work at Coleman Electric if needed.  To be continued.  I hope I can help in some capacity.  Plus, I want little red to do more of the throwing sports this year.

Last but not least, I found this really cool old drafting table in a local antique store and purchased it for Andrew's room.  It fit's perfectly and I am excited to see him use it for his art work and for his lego building.  While he is struggling in school right now, art and music are his saviors and I want it to stay that way.  I know regular classes are not what makes him tick and his brain wants to live in a creative land yet we all have to do things we don't love or even like in life.  

Have a great week y'all!  Looking forward to more running with my favorite girl, some answers from the chiro with regards to Boom, and maybe some coaching time this week.