I've been pretty proud of myself this week. I had to make some choices to protect my mental health and I did so swiftly and with great results. I think for me, the biggest problem with fully quitting my job at Coleman Electric (my hubby's business if you are reading your very first blog post) was loss of control. I felt like if I stayed in the mix fully, I could control outcomes and reduce my amount of stress in the long run. What I was doing was running myself into the ground, hating my hubby for putting me in a bad position and working me so hard (it was all self imposed), and creating more anxiety that was affecting my new job. Everyone was telling me to walk away, but I just couldn't do it. Then a switch just flipped. Nothing bad happened, I just knew that in the long run I couldn't continue on this path and I off loaded major duties that I was still doing straight to my hubby. While it does put more on his plate in the long run, he has a better understanding of what I do and can now fully train someone with my help. While we had all been dragging our feet on this transition, I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and a lot of the resentment I had been feeling has left. It does mean longer hours for my hubby and more book work/office work, but again, when he feels ready, he can now train the next person without major help from me. I am still doing bill pay and invoice management for our suppliers and hope that at some point, I can off load this as well to our new book keeper, if we find one. I can do that once a week and not have to work every single day for both jobs so I don't mind it as much. While I have been enjoying two paychecks, my brain needed this. Our marriage needed this. This is his company and his responsibility and I needed to let that go. My name is no where on anything and while I want it to succeed for our community and our family, I had to let it go. He is ultimately the captain of the ship and I needed to give full control solely to him. He wanted to have his own business and so now he shall go back to doing most of the things he started doing before I joined the team.
This boy hasn't stopped smiling since last weekend. To see how happy he is at his successes at the track makes me so freaking happy.
I'll take a last place finish any day that he is working hard and racing hard. He did both all day on Sunday and that makes me so very happy.
We ended the week doing all the things I love. Playing games at the brewery and drinking amazing beer.
Spending time together laughing and talking instead of staring at screens.
Ice cream.
And yard work with the entire family and the reading books/chilling out the rest of the day. I'm reading Kara's book right now and I seriously can't put it down. After listening to a podcast with Des and Kara, I had to buy all three books including Lauren's book. I also need to get Deena K's book as well. I love reading about these amazing women athletes and their crazy journeys.
Have a great week y'all! I am looking forward to more experiments at work, hopefully some time at track club coaching, and another round of racing!
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