Riding out the storms

I had this wonderful blog written out about my week, the challenges, and the things I forgot to write about last week.  The blogging program deleted the entire thing and I was so freaking proud of it.  I had tons of pictures and lots of heartfelt words.  Sigh.   I don't feel like writing it all again so here is a shortened version:

3 runs, no work outs thanks to work

lots of storms

and lastly Andrew and his win from last week  

I will elaborate on that because I am so damn proud of him.  Here are the pictures.

We raced our Heavy 160 car with the correct motor.  We got three laps in practice and the shock came off and the car was dragging the track.  Andrew thought it was hilarious.  The class is small, only four cars, but all of the kids are older than him by at least 2 years or more.  In the heat race the first day, he wouldn't pass two of the cars and he got lapped by the leader even though he was clearly faster.  I thought, oh boy, here we go again.  Then the two cars ahead of him wrecked out and he hung with the leader for the rest of the race.  While he had been lapped and actually got last place even though he was ahead of the other two cars, he found his confidence in the feature and passed both cars multiple times.  For that, I am SUPER proud.

Then this happened.  His first checkered flag in a feature.  We were beyond excited for him because we knew he could do it.  He ran super awesome efficient lines and his car drove like a dream.  I think he is going to love the heavy classes because the cars hug the track.  Yes, there was only one other car in the class, but the kiddo is an amazing driver and 2 years older than Andrew.  Once the Marshall racing team gets their car dialed in, he will totally be a challenge to beat, but heck, I am going to enjoy this win for a bit anyway :)

We now have heat winner signs.  How cool is that????

These were the trophies they got for winning.  Super cool and he got spoiler alert, TWO!

First feature win.  He pretty much smiled the rest of the day and the rest of the weekend for that matter!

Funny how they are the same size!

The other two racers had left by the time we did podium pictures, but I am so freaking proud of him for this 2nd place.  

Another heat win and feature win in heavy Honda!  I was sweating on this one because they definitely had Noah's car dialed in more with some expert help from one of our track kids who is a whiz at setting up cars. 

 

Another second place for Andrew in Heavy 160, a class and a motor he has NEVER driven.  We promised him he would love driving 160 (more speed), so much better than driving an animal car (more torque), and boy did he ever.  Once he gets his passing down, I feel like he will catch Noah as their times were so close.  

And another podium for the ginger racer!

Afterwards, he got lots of shout outs from other racing teams, which increased that big ole smile even more.

That is what it is all about.  That is why we continue in this sport.  These kids will battle each other to the checkered flag and then get out of the cars and go play.  These families form a bond that is so special that even when we disagree, it's strong and it's always there.  We ALL knew he could do it.  Yes, it's only one car he beat and two cars in the other class, but it's a start towards using the skills we all know he has.  Every year I ask him, do you want to do this again this year and every year it's a big YES!  Every year he has highs and lows, but mostly lows because we are limited in our knowledge in what we are doing.  Yet he persists.  And for that I will end this blog before it gets deleted again on a big HELL YEAH ginger racer.  HELL YEAH.    

I'm in my Perimenopause era

Thank you Taylor for letting us define our eras.  I'm firmly in my perimenopause era and y'all it is kicking my ass so hard.  Here are a few of my symptoms thus far:

Periods that last for two weeks

no periods at all

extreme fatigue

HUNGRY ALL THE DAMN TIME

30+ lbs of weight gain though I have changed nothing in my diet

hot flashes

low motivation

extreme anxiety

extreme mood swings

no heat tolerance

can't go to sleep

can't stay asleep

night sweats

loosing my already thin hair

pimples

Good things:

My give a shit is mostly broken.  I no longer care what people think.  Don't like what I do or how I do it?  Go ahead, be my guest.  

My anxiety for the most part is allowing me to be a kick ass scientist.

I can use my hot flashes as an excuse to run the lab fan on my full speed and it feels so good.

Let me know your bad and good and how you navigated.  

Thank you body for all that you have done for me.  We will make it through this but geez, let's make this ERA short and sweet!

Listen to your body

Two workouts, two runs and calling it good.  It was a long week full of stress, experiments, long hours, and mean people (see below).  When I woke up on my only day fully off for the week, running a long run was the last thing on my mind.  While I knew the next weekend would also be busy, I just had zero motivation to run.  I know lack of motivation is part of menopause but weekends make me love the long run and there was zero love.  My running partner reminded me that I wasn't training for anything and to listen to my body.  SO I did.  We went to the tulip festival, walked around, and did some day drinking.  I don't regret it one bit.  

I'm going to lay it down here because if I put this anywhere else, I would probably get into trouble.  People suck.  Well, let me clarify, some people suck.  I volunteer and work my ass off for an organization that my son is a part of.  This very organization (specific people) has caused me to have to do therapy again and heck, for that I am thankful but seriously, why are people so nasty that it has to be this way.  Anyway, we had our first race of the season and while we had some set backs, some if which were pretty time consuming, the day ended well with most people happy.  A handful were not and were pretty hateful and for that I say shame on you.  To those who question us respectfully and maturely, thank you.  To those who bitched, moaned, caused trouble, were disrespectful to volunteers SHAME ON YOU.  You had people who volunteer a significant amount of their time to this organization in tears  Over what?  Do you feel better?  Yes, mistakes were made, but we are all human correct?  Let me see how you live a perfect life and then maybe, just maybe I might understand your horrible behavior.  I see this year after year after year and I just want to run to the hills and never come back.  Yet here I am, taking the abuse and saying thank you, may I have more.  Why?  I don't know how people like that sleep at night, knowing that they have been so hateful to others.  Heck, today most of us today in the tower never had lunch, never got a break, nothing.  We worked straight through intermission, so while you had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, sat at your trailer partying and never lifted a finger to help, we were working our asses off.  Do i expect a thanks, NO but I do expect respect and tolerance.  That is the least people who NEVER FREAKING VOLUNTEER EVER can give us.    Okay off of my soap box now. 

Deep breath.  Okay onto race day.  Tony has had zero time to work on the cars.  He has been working 12 plus hour days and he was trying to sneak a little in here and there.  The Honda car just needed some weight added and some small adjustments to account for that extra weight.  The animal car was getting it's engine yanked and a new 160 engine put into so that he could run heavy 160 and heavy Honda.  Tony got the 120 together and they practiced and all was well.  That just left the 160.  Tony decided to pull and all nighter and get it together.  He got zero sleep, got to the track right before the heat races, and realized while it was being teched that ................ it had the wrong engine in it.  Sigh.  Oh well, he tried.  We plan on getting that engine in and practicing before the two day next weekend.   He raced his butt off with his buddy Madden, a kiddo that races on the national circuit.  The fact that he stayed right behind him, ran good lines, and tried to pass several times is a huge step forward.  He ran almost as fast if not faster than his senior honda car last year with more weight.  I'm starting to get a little excited for this season, not going to lie.  

There you have it!  Have a great week y'all:)

WINDY

 Short and sweet and to the point.  I got three runs in this week and two work outs.  I finally got to go to the Aggieville Brewery patio that I have been waiting to open up and we watched lots of women's basketball.   Try the porter when you go.  It's 9 percent ABV but AMAZING!

It has been fun watching the games this year.  I usually don't follow college basketball other than the Cats and the Vols, but I will admit, I had fun watching Caitlyn and other amazing women battle.  I just wish we had done our streaming services differently so we could have ESPN +.  Sigh.  I just need to cancel everything and do the Disney bundle.

I t was super windy all week so runs were a bit of a challenge.  My long run was spent running north and south out on the gravel in front of the airport to try and stay out of the brutal west wind. 

And yes, I took off my shirt to get some sun.  There is very little traffic on our running route and I didn't want to get tan lines.  Now I just need to make sure I am wearing shorts every run to get some sun on my white legs.   

This week was full of a lot of emotion.  Big changes at work again.  Lots of experiments planned and then moved.  More personnel changes.  Changes on our racing board.  Friends having some serious life issues that I can't fix but want to be helpful.  Both good and bad news at Tony's work.  New friends to hang out with and drink delicious beer.  Oh well.  Life moves on.  Trying to be calm and ride the wave, whatever it looks like.  

Have a great week y'all!

Easter Confessional?

SO much to say this week, not sure how to begin.  How about an Easter confessional?

We are continuing to battle to save our family business.  Please pray that we can accomplish this as my hubby is hustling his ass off.  I left over a year ago to make sure income was coming in and that we could keep our house and the important things in life.  We have had major client shifts, old employees quit and new employees start, and lots of learning moments.  It was a journey I didn't want to be on anymore,  as I am not cut out for the ups and downs you encounter being a small business owner, and of course, having my income tied into the business also was very stressful.  I now have a job where I make twice as much in salary, get bonuses, and have room to move up.  While I miss the flexibility of working at our own business and still try and help occasionally when I can, I don't miss the constant stress and the roller coaster ride that is owning your own small business.  Unfortunately, I am married to the owner so I am still on this ride whether I want to be or not.  Sigh.

I am also dreading racing this year.  Not because of the drama that never ends, but because we have had some really good times traveling and doing fun weekend stuff.  I love my track friends but man, thinking about racing for the next 8 months makes me throw up in my mouth.  It's a huge time commitment that neither me nor my hubby has time for right now, but dammit, my kiddo loves it, so we will do what we have to and smile the whole way (mostly).  

I am continuing therapy and while it has been hard and we are actually delving into treatment for some unresolved trauma, I can see how much it is helping me as I have used several of my new tools in my mental tool box to deal with crap.  I have had lots of aha moments and have been able to control my anxiety in several situations and I call that a win.   

I also cried again this week as we went back to the theater to watch Back to the Future on the big screen.  Andrew got to see a real DeLorean and check that off of his bucket list.  If you remember, Andrew went through a MAJOR Back to the Future addiction and has several Lego and playmobile DeLorean's and other memorabilia.  He LOVES the movie and it brought back so much nostalgia for me.  Post the movie, we headed over to Tallgrass Tap house and had dinner on the rooftop which ended yet another magical night.  

Lastly, I am sad.  Sad and excited that Andrew is growing up so much every day.  He had made it known that he didn't believe in the Easter bunny and again, it broke my heart.   I know he has to grow up and these childish things will go away, but it's hard on my momma heart.  We went to a couple of Easter egg hunts that were part of other events, and he was too old to participate in the hunt and it really hit him hard.  I was sad to see him so sad.  We were planning on doing an Easter basket anyway, but we added an Easter egg hunt just for him.  We also post his hunt, we hid eggs for the dogs and had so much fun watching them find the eggs.  I am fine doing what keeps him happy and love that he loved it so much.  

Have a great week y'all!

Yeesh.

This week was one busy week.  Concerts, fundraisers, meetings, and OT at work.  I only got one short run in and one work out in.  Ready to get back at it next week.

My motto.  You can't take it with you when you die.  Trying to live a full life and expose my kiddo to all kinds of things and let him do the things he loves.  This week I took him to his first acapella concert and post concert, they showed Pitch Perfect, one of my guilty pleasure movies.  

Our old theater in downtown Manhattan is going to do a series of fundraisers and show "old movies" and by old movies I mean Back to the Future and Princess Bride, basically 80s stuff.  They sell dollar popcorn and beer so I am totally in.  Plus, I don't mind reliving my child hood.  We didn't have streaming everything so we saw most if not all of these movies at the theater.  

We also had the biggest fundraiser of the year for our track.  It's always a big stressful time for me because I want people to be happy and have a great experience at our track and there is only so much I can control.  We had a record 80 runs this year and a full sign up that even with people dropping out, we had enough walk ups to fill the in.  I think of all of the people we got through, only two people walked away unhappy and I will take it.  While their unhappiness did kill me (kids wouldn't fit in the cars we had there that day), the happiness of others made me so freaking happy.  We stand to gain about 5 new families just from that one event and raised probably a couple thousand dollars between drives, hats, t shirts, and concessions.  

We had yet another band concert and I was blown away by how much improvement we saw.  I honestly don't remember our 6th grade band making that much improvement in a year.  I seriously want to buy him another trumpet so I can have mine back so we can play together.  

And I will close on this.  I had some amazing beer and company this weekend. Friday I met some wrestling families downtown and watched some NCAA wrestling and then Saturday post fundraiser I went with one of my favorite track families and had beer, sandy snacks, and listened to a band.  While my cup was running a little empty, amazing friends fill it up every time and i am blessed.  

Have a great week y'all!

I need a vacation from my vacation

This week was all about rest and getting back into a routine.  Andrew still had spring break so he could sleep in, rest, and lay around in his undies. I however had no PTO left and had to get back to it.  On one hand, flying back on Monday was the best idea because I got home with plenty of time to get laundry finished and clean the house, one of my weird tics that I have always had (must clean the house before I leave and immediately when I get home).  On the other hand I really could have used one more day to get back into the swing of things at home.  Oh well.  

I did get my two work outs done this week and forgot to stop my watch both times post work out.  No I didn't work out for an hour either times and I have no clue how to edit it.  Sigh.  I need to stop talking post class.   I ran three times with a long run of 6 miles.  We had lots to do this weekend so no true long run.  

We walked in the St Pat's parade for our racing club and then had a great afternoon with friends.  Then spent the next day at the track working on Need for Speed stuff.  

We also had our first tornado of the season which was too close for comfort.  Why is spring starting so early this year?  Ah yes, thanks Global Warming!

Have a great week y'all!  Going to keep it short and simple this week as I am still recovering.  See y'all next week!