Easter Confessional?

SO much to say this week, not sure how to begin.  How about an Easter confessional?

We are continuing to battle to save our family business.  Please pray that we can accomplish this as my hubby is hustling his ass off.  I left over a year ago to make sure income was coming in and that we could keep our house and the important things in life.  We have had major client shifts, old employees quit and new employees start, and lots of learning moments.  It was a journey I didn't want to be on anymore,  as I am not cut out for the ups and downs you encounter being a small business owner, and of course, having my income tied into the business also was very stressful.  I now have a job where I make twice as much in salary, get bonuses, and have room to move up.  While I miss the flexibility of working at our own business and still try and help occasionally when I can, I don't miss the constant stress and the roller coaster ride that is owning your own small business.  Unfortunately, I am married to the owner so I am still on this ride whether I want to be or not.  Sigh.

I am also dreading racing this year.  Not because of the drama that never ends, but because we have had some really good times traveling and doing fun weekend stuff.  I love my track friends but man, thinking about racing for the next 8 months makes me throw up in my mouth.  It's a huge time commitment that neither me nor my hubby has time for right now, but dammit, my kiddo loves it, so we will do what we have to and smile the whole way (mostly).  

I am continuing therapy and while it has been hard and we are actually delving into treatment for some unresolved trauma, I can see how much it is helping me as I have used several of my new tools in my mental tool box to deal with crap.  I have had lots of aha moments and have been able to control my anxiety in several situations and I call that a win.   

I also cried again this week as we went back to the theater to watch Back to the Future on the big screen.  Andrew got to see a real DeLorean and check that off of his bucket list.  If you remember, Andrew went through a MAJOR Back to the Future addiction and has several Lego and playmobile DeLorean's and other memorabilia.  He LOVES the movie and it brought back so much nostalgia for me.  Post the movie, we headed over to Tallgrass Tap house and had dinner on the rooftop which ended yet another magical night.  

Lastly, I am sad.  Sad and excited that Andrew is growing up so much every day.  He had made it known that he didn't believe in the Easter bunny and again, it broke my heart.   I know he has to grow up and these childish things will go away, but it's hard on my momma heart.  We went to a couple of Easter egg hunts that were part of other events, and he was too old to participate in the hunt and it really hit him hard.  I was sad to see him so sad.  We were planning on doing an Easter basket anyway, but we added an Easter egg hunt just for him.  We also post his hunt, we hid eggs for the dogs and had so much fun watching them find the eggs.  I am fine doing what keeps him happy and love that he loved it so much.  

Have a great week y'all!