That time I hit zero

I have zero energy lately and I am not sure exactly why.  I know working 11 and 12 hour days probably has something to do with it, but I want my will power and motivation back to run and walk!  It has totally left me this week which has caused my anxiety to be through the roof.  I need exercise like a drug to keep me calm and collected.  I also had lots of day appointments that took me away from work which stressed me out to be behind, but the dog chiro and my 6 month dentist appointment needed to be done no matter what.  Meanwhile I am pulling in some serious overtime checks and loving it, but I need to run!

Lots happened this week.  Last day of 5th grade and last day of elementary school.  I am slightly terrified about middle school and the fast paced transitions, but also excited for him because middle school and high school were such great times in my life as a kid.  I played sports and did band in middle school and then went exclusively band in high school and I had the time of my life!

Our rose bush bloomed and as always, I love seeing those vibrant pink flowers.  Flowers make me so happy, even if I don't have a green thumb at all.   

We got one 40 minute walk in.

And one 3 mile run in.

We celebrated a birthday!  Happy birthday Tony!  Let's hope we are on the road to better health together.

And we ended the week with 2 days of racing.  I could write a book on this weekend but I will keep it short and sweet.  SO MUCH IMPROVEMENT!!!  Yes I am yelling but he set an all time record for passes.  His placements really don't show how hard he worked.  He has been really down on his red car on Saturday, but he rallied back on Sunday and had much better lines and times.  I will take it even with the drama.

Have a great week y'all!

Emotionally?

 So many emotions this week.

Bittersweet

We had our first beginning band meeting and the band director played my trumpet.  While I still play occasionally, he has skill and plays regularly, and she sounded so beautiful.   Ready to hear my son embark on the band journey.  My journey as a band nerd brought me so many great friends and memories.  

Relieved

Relieved to hear from the rehab vet that it's just a strain and more than likely just his adductor in his hip.  We have lots of exercises, a weight loss plan to get off the few pounds he has put on, and a path moving forward.

Happy

Happy to see all of the color in my yard.  While a ton of my flowers died off and didn't come back this year (even the ones I planted last year that were perennials), my orange flowers from Tennessee always come back and always shine.  Plus, all of our prairie sage bloomed this year so it was the perfect mix of purple and orange.  

Lucky

Lucky to get two runs in this week with my old girly.  We did a 3 and a 7 together and Boom did a 4 before hearing no running for a bit longer.  

Excited!

Going to see the Chiefs play the day before my birthday at Arrowhead against the Eagles.  I splurged and got us really good tickets,  You only live once, right?

Grateful

Non race weekends mean family time.  So glad this kiddo still loves hanging out with me.  Coffee shops to eat his favorite quiche and then exploring at a new to us winery in Manhattan for ciders, bee swarms, and bocce ball.  

And finally, hopeful.

Since boom boom has to walk right now to strengthen things before we run, we are doing lots of family walks.  Plus, my hubby as some doctor's appointments scheduled so we can start figuring this whole mess out with his diabetes and blood sugar.

Have a great week y'all!

Whoop there it is

It was just one of those weeks where work took over my life at both jobs and running just didn't have a spot left over.  One day I ended up working 12 hours, working at Coleman Electric, running 3 miles, and then mowing the yard.  I only got 2 runs in this week with both being short.  I know if running was a priority right now, I would find a way to get it done but it just isn't and that is okay.  

First of all let me set the scene of the week by starting off with the bad.   My hubby wasn't feeling well Sunday and as the day went on, he got worse.  He has type 2 diabetes and he doesn't always do the best job managing it but he has learned to live with not feeling great 24/7 so when he tells me he isn't feeling good, it's really not good.  He had woken up with a red angry eye, but again, he was always having either headache or eye problems so we thought nothing of it.  As the day progressed, he became super light sensitive and his eye was throbbing.  We called the eye doctor but he suggested we head to the ER so off we went.  Usually we would go to Manhattan, but a big storm was near and we didn't have time to beat it so we stopped at our local ER where the man I despise works and of course was on duty.  We have a client that is and ER doctor and i was praying for him but nope, we got Sir Grumps a lot, who clearly HATES his job and makes everyone miserable.  Of course he was super salty we were there for an eye issue at 9 pm on a Sunday night and couldn't understand at all why a grown ass man wouldn't take his meds for a disease that could kill him (you and me both doc).  He told Tony he had dry eye (he later was diagnosed with a very bad viral infection in his eye) and then they put him on an insulin drip to try and get his blood sugar down.  I finally left around 1:30 am to go check on Andrew and try and get some sleep and they discharged him at 5:30, at which time his blood sugar went right back up as soon as they unhooked him.  We were very lucky to get into the eye doctor at 10 that morning and get a diagnosis and steriod drops, which helped quickly.  Now as I type, he has the same infection in teh other eye but we have the drops and she told him this would happen so we are prepared.  If anyone has any way to get a grown man to take his meds and talk to his doctor, I am all open for suggestions.  Talks of amputation, permanent ED, blindness, and major disability just don't seem to be doing the trick.  I've said this before and I will say it again, if I had a treatable disease, I would be working with my doctor hand in hand to stay healthy not only for myself but for my family too.  

As the week progressed, my hubby felt better and got back on ALL of his meds, but I still think we have three issues that need to be tackled, his eyes (blurry vision), his blood sugar (adjustment of meds), and his headaches (2 months of headaches???).  Honestly the headaches scare me more than anything because NOTHING touches them.  They gave him hydrocodone in the hospital and that did NOTHING.   He has gotten so use to having them that he just gets up at night, pukes, and then goes about his business.  Sigh.  This is NOT normal.  

Now on to fun things shall we?  We had a rare Saturday race and Mother's day!  Saturday's race was another great one for Andrew.  He drew P1 in the heat race and smoked all of them by just driving away and winning.  Unfortunately when I did the coin flip, he went to the back in P6.  Now that he actually passes, I am okay with that because it gives him tons of time to work his way back to the front.  He ran in P2 for quite a bit adn then wouldn't pass a lap car and his best friend passed him for P2.  They didn't have enough time to hunt down the leader but that is okay, they both got a podium.  I am so freaking proud of this kid right now and his desire to try hard and race hard.  

We celebrated with some beers at Happy Bassett and then went back the next day for some bingo with our adopted track mom and dad for mother's day.  Got to love Sandy and her Sandy snacks!  The fruit punch sour beer was amazing and I can't wait to sip it more this summer post races.  

Have a great week y'all!  I am hoping for better health, a weekend off from racing, and some more time pounding the pavement.  

Summer....Already?

This was the first week we tried to get three reps in of our big experiment in one week.  To say I am exhausted is an understatement after several 11 and 12 hour days, but who doesn't love OT on their paycheck?  We will get results of our Friday experiment tomorrow, but the first two weeks are looking amazing.  Plus, add in the end of the month/beginning of the month at Coleman Electric and while I have given up all of my other duties, I am still paying bills and keeping up with supply invoicing and payments, plus sales tax reporting. Add into that, we had meetings at the middle school, which honestly slightly terrified and excited me.  He will start band this year on my trumpet that I played all through school.  He gets some electives, some labs to help him with math and English,  and a much freer-er time at lunch (can sit with whomever he wants instead of by class).  I think he will love it, but he he is a little scared of all of the changes and has already asked to repeat 5th grade.  Uh that is a big nope.  

We celebrated Stella's 12th birthday.  May the fourth be with you!  Still running 3 times a week as long as the weather allows it.  Which was only once this week thanks to summer joining the party and 90 degree days.  Sigh.  We just don't have seasons anymore here in Kansas. 

How about some things I loved last week?  This single tulip in our yard that bloomed.  

This book. I cried so many tears for her.  Finished and passed on to another mother runner.  Now reading Lauren Fleshman's book.

Splurged on a goody box from Chewy for Stella.  She approved.

Little red using his new drafting table I found at the antique store and finishing his dad's b day present!

Friday night in downtown manhattan with pizza and beer.

Local craft vendors that make super cute stuff!

KSU football camp with the KSU football players, head coach, and WILLIE THE WILDCAT!

Plant therapy.  At least with succulents maybe I won't kill them?

Things I am not loving though, no spring.  Straight to summer temps and summer humidity, which means earlier morning running and no dogs.  No thank you.

Have a great spring like week where ever you are!

Short but sweet

I have 10 minutes to write before i need to shower and head to work so here goes. 

3 runs this week, all done with Queen Stella!  She is getting back into the groove and loving it!  Two 3 milers and a 9 miler.  The lower temps are really helping her be able to run and I am not sure how much longer this is going to las but I am loving it.  She pretty much smiles the entire run.  I think I will just cycle up to 10 miles and then drop back to 6 and start over again like I have been doing.  That way I am always ready for a half marathon if I get a wild hair up my ass.

Little man has been super creative lately.  He has been working on his creation every night and my house looks like a bomb exploded at an art fair.  Oh well, he loves it so I am here for it.   I love when these moods hit him and he just has to create 24:7.

We had another race and I am not sure who has stepped into my kid's body but he went from P6 which is outside dead last to P2, not once but TWICE.  He came into the pits running second to get his dad to check something during a caution and went back out and passed and got his spot back.  WHAT?  Who is this?  He even looked at a pass to get around the 1st place car and decided he was okay with second when the kid came down on him and shut the door.  I am not sure what has changed but I am LOVING IT!

Have a great week y'all!

 

It just is

I've been pretty proud of myself this week.  I had to make some choices to protect my mental health and I did so swiftly and with great results.  I think for me, the biggest problem with fully quitting my job at Coleman Electric (my hubby's business if you are reading your very first blog post) was loss of control.  I felt like if I stayed in the mix fully, I could control outcomes and reduce my amount of stress in the long run.  What I was doing was running myself into the ground, hating my hubby for putting me in a bad position and working me so hard (it was all self imposed), and creating more anxiety that was affecting my new job.  Everyone was telling me to walk away, but I just couldn't do it.  Then a switch just flipped.  Nothing bad happened, I just knew that in the long run I couldn't continue on this path and I off loaded major duties that I was still doing straight to my hubby. While it does put more on his plate in the long run, he has a better understanding of what I do and can now fully train someone with my help.  While we had all been dragging our feet on this transition, I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and a lot of the resentment I had been feeling has left.  It does mean longer hours for my hubby and more book work/office work, but again, when he feels ready, he can now train the next person without major help from me.   I am still doing bill pay and invoice management for our suppliers and hope that at some point, I can off load this as well to our new book keeper, if we find one.  I can do that once a week and not have to work every single day for both jobs so I don't mind it as much.  While I have been enjoying two paychecks, my brain needed this.  Our marriage needed this.  This is his company and his responsibility and I needed to let that go.  My name is no where on anything and while I want it to succeed for our community and our family, I had to let it go.  He is ultimately the captain of the ship and I needed to give full control solely to him.  He wanted to have his own business and so now he shall go back to doing most of the things he started doing before I joined the team.  

 

This boy hasn't stopped smiling since last weekend.  To see how happy he is at his successes at the track makes me so freaking happy. 

I'll take a last place finish any day that he is working hard and racing hard.  He did both all day on Sunday and that makes me so very happy.  

Running was okay this week.  Got a 3 miler that was too hot to do with the dogs, an 8 miler with Stella ella, and a 3 miler with Stella.  Next week looks like solid rain :(

We ended the week doing all the things I love.  Playing games at the brewery and drinking amazing beer.

Spending time together laughing and talking instead of staring at screens.  

Ice cream.  

And yard work with the entire family and the reading books/chilling out the rest of the day.  I'm reading Kara's book right now and I seriously can't put it down.  After listening to a podcast with Des and Kara, I had to buy all three books including Lauren's book. I also need to get Deena K's book as well.  I love reading about these amazing women athletes and their crazy journeys.    

Have a great week y'all!  I am looking forward to more experiments at work, hopefully some time at track club coaching, and another round of racing!

Yeah, so about that

Since I am writing this on Monday/Tuesda morning and I literally have 3 minutes before I need to get up, here are some of my favorite things from the week.

This kid.  Keeps me on my toes but I just love him.  Why does he look like a big kid now more and more?

All the glasses at work.  Slowly getting us to bifocals and not wanting to give up my Goodrs.  

Good ole Kanas wind.  Nothing like almost getting blown off of your feet due to 40 mph wind gusts. 

A chance to breath, have a good beer, and grill.  

Still injured but going to the rehab vet this week. Hoping for answers.  

3 runs this week.  Two 3s and a 6.  All I could muster working 2 jobs and being exhausted.  Two runs in 80 degree heat and one in feels like 34.  Go figure.  

The Tulip Festival in the wind and rain.  Still a great time.  Bring on the tasting tent!

And ending on the ending of the weekend.  To say I was dreading racing season is an understatement.  With all of the stress in my life right now, I don't need adults acting like idiots drama.  Before the day even came there was drama and I was so over it.  We have had little to no time to practice and even when we had free time, we wanted to spend it together doing fun things, not fussing at each other at the track.  We had no expectations of anything from the cars or my kiddo.  Usually by this time we have the cars dialed in and several practices under our belt to test and tune.  Tony didn't even fire up the cars till the night before at 7 pm....and one wouldn't start and the other would but had no brakes.  Sigh.  Tony stayed up all night working on the cars and was also sick.  Another deep sigh.  We showed up at the track with one car working and one with no brakes.  

We were very lucky in that we had a team of dads waiting to work on the car and get Andrew on the track.  There are good people in this world still that truly just want these kids to race and have fun.  Andrew had an amazing day finishing 2nd in both of his Sr Animal classes of only 3 cars, but still running his car hard and having great patterns.  He ran 2nd for quite a bit in Sr Honda in the heat and was headed for first when he made a pass on a restart (which you can't do) and caused himself to go back 2 spaces to finish 5th.  He could have passed the car in front of him but for whatever reason refused to.  Oh well, I like what I am seeing and am actually excited about racing now!

Have a great week y'all!