Heat index of 121

Another week of ridiculous heat and another week of no thank you from me when it comes to running.  I did manage 2 short runs of 3 miles each, but the rest was a nope.  

Andrew started school and it started out with lots of nerves, but then ended good.  SO many changes this year for a kid who needs to know every detail of every second of every day to feel comfortable.  He now changes class every hour, runs from one end of the school to the other, has zero hour weights before school starts/rides a shuttle bus to school, and has football three nights a week.  Pretty soon we will have football Friday nights, football Saturday mornings, and racing on Sunday.  I am getting tired just reading this.    I am so pleasantly surprised at how well this transition this week has gone thus far.  I honestly thought we would have tears and lots of drama, and there has been nothing but excitement, happiness, and one tired kiddo.

Speaking of football, our third year started this week.  I always have high hopes going in that my kiddo will suddenly find his athleticism that I feel like is in there somewhere.  We had seen changes this year in his aggressiveness when racing, so we had hoped it might come out on the field.  The jury is still out and in his first practice he was basically relegated to third string, so to be continued.  I knew this year was going to be tough playing time wise with so many new kids joining that are so athletically gifted, even if they haven't ever played tackle.  He has to want it, me wanting it is nothing.  He did tell the coach he wanted to be the pulling guard position and he would work hard to keep that position, so that is a big change for him.  Football is truly my favorite sport and I hope he can find a love or at least a liking for the sport as I think he would LOVE it in middle school and high school.  

A quick note on my journey in therapy.  My anxiety has been much less lately just due to overall less going on to stress me out in my life.  That part is nice, however will probably be short lived but I will enjoy it for now.  However, I was triggered by watching a documentary and was sent back to a dark place I don't like and had a couple of rough nights with the old thoughts of why did this happen to me, why does he get to live a wonderful life and I suffer, and why won't these feelings go away for good?   I was super glad to have therapy Friday to delve into these things, so we can start the real work.  I am ready for this journey and I feel like I have finally found the therapist I have needed.  When she told me FUCK THE PATRIACHY while I was telling my story,  I was like right on sister.   Indeed.  If feels like much healing is going to happen here.  Stay tuned.  

We decided after our race got canceled due to extreme heat (we race in the daytime and on pavement) to head about 1.5 hours north to see our favorite dirt racers race Friday and Saturday night.   While older, Hank started when Andrew did and raced on the national circuit for quarter midgets before changing over to dirt.  His mom volunteered a ton of her time in the tower as head concessions and we had always been super close.  We missed spending time with their family like crazy, but most of the tracks they race on are 2 plus hours away for us.  It was so good to just hang out in the trailer like old times, watch the kiddos race their hearts out, and have a few beers in celebration for all of the wins.  I really wish we could race dirt and not pavement because I truly love how laid back it is and how there is no club per se to deal with.  It's so nice to go to a track and not have to work all day and night and then go home exhausted and not really get any time with our friends.

Every time we go, we learn so much about dirt racing, have so much fun with our friends, and the boys improve exponentially every time we watch.  I really want to go to Tulsa again this year and watch them both in restricted and A class at the Tulsa Shootout.   I wish my kiddo would find a love for dirt and dirt racing, but I don't think it is his focus yet and that is okay.  We will pavement race till he can't fit in his cars anymore and then go from there.  

Stay cool my friends!  This next week is going to be absolutely horrible and I am sure I am not going to do a ton of running with a 2 day race ended the week.  I will get what I can and be happy that fall is almost here!